How to (re)discover your purpose and achieve your goals

Welcome to the second of a series of articles based on a recent OxTalks podcast in which Chris Oxley (Managing Director, Oxley & Partners) and Bradley Honnor (MatchFit Managing Director) discuss leadership and development training.

In this second episode, Chris explores the concept of purpose. He describes the scenario of a life filled with administrative tasks – which need to be done but are not delivering any joy.

How can I make my life fantastic?

Bradley explains how purpose has driven his career path and the consistent effort needed to make a significant change.

Discovering a new purpose, what that means to individuals, both in their careers and personal lives, and having the staying power to change course are discussed.

The question we should all be asking ourselves:

‘What do I care about?’

You can read the transcript of their conversation below. Click the link at the end of the transcript to listen to the full podcast.

Transcript

Chris: You mentioned a sense of purpose. I listened to an audible over the weekend. It was incredible. Quite a sad story. A Beginner’s Guide to Dying. I don’t know if you have stumbled across it but I highly recommend it.

But the point of what he was talking about is where we become satisfied with certain parts of our lives. And one of the key areas was whether that is really driving a purpose.

I know you’ve spoken before about a sense of purpose staying constant and that never ending. How do you personally define purpose when you’re working with clients? How has it evolved over your career?

Bradley: First of all, it’s a very personal thing. And my sense of purpose is going to be very different to somebody else’s, which is a good starting point. We talk about purpose in various different ways, but certainly in terms of what drives people to feel they have a sense of purpose you have to think about what what’s possible and take actions around what you can do today. What can you begin that’s going to make some significant changes in a direction you feel is motivating for yourself and inspires you.

For me, a sense of purpose is a very, very passionate thing. It’s very deep rooted. It’s the thing that gets you out of bed, makes you work very hard and stay focused for great lengths of time, and helps you to be resilient and to pivot and do things differently. What changed in me is quite interesting. Part of my sense of purpose has always been to strive to be successful. And that may come from my relatively challenging experience at school being dyslexic. I wanted to prove to myself. Maybe to prove to other people in the beginning, that I could succeed and be successful. And that’s been a huge driving force for me for as long as I can remember, right from when I was 15/16 years old.

But what has changed as I’ve grown older is my definition of what success is and what it should look like for me personally. I’ve moved on from the helicopter pad and having Brad towers through to understanding the importance of work-life balance and feeling that I’m enjoying my work and that it’s rewarding in every definition of what rewarding can mean. And that I’m being authentic and really following my path with integrity and living that authentic life, as they say in therapy. Those things really define success. And I think it’s also about understanding that success isn’t really an end game, it’s an ongoing journey. It’s not a destination to coin the phrase. So I think for me, I feel that my sense of purpose has changed in terms of specifically what I’m working towards and driving for. But the underpinning aspiration to make the most of my life has always been my driving force from as long as I can remember.

Chris: For those who are feeling a bit lost, a little bit stagnant, what advice would you give them about finding or reigniting that sense of purpose in their career? I mean, it might even be attached to their personal life as well.

Bradley: If we’re looking to find a purpose when it isn’t necessarily right there, right now what would we advocate someone doing? It’s really about understanding that it’s quite easy to move from day to day, fulfilling tasks and, for want of a better description, administrating our lives and jobs. Moving through the day to day with no real passion or enthusiasm or purpose, because we’re out there doing stuff, and we’ve got all stuff to do, and it can feel quite task based. It can feel quite responsibility based, but not so inspirationally based.

So it’s interesting to understand and look at our lives and take a step back sometimes and ask what would bring me a fantastic life? What do I need to do to transform how I am operating in my day-to-day world. What is it that I feel hugely passionate about? What is it that I really care about? How do I get more involved so that my day to day is actually hugely fulfilling and really inspirational for me in terms of driving a purpose?

So I think I’m answering your question there by saying: expand what we think is possible in terms of the experience we have on a day to day basis. Can I become the most influential leader in the world, in my space? Can I be the first company in the world to do a specific thing, and to really open up the possibilities of what can be achieved? And create belief that you can get yourself there. But again, that for me is a very personal thing, that purpose.

So how does someone find their own purpose? For me it’s about really exploring what you believe is actually possible. Can you be working and being financially successful whilst at the same time feeling completely inspired and infused by what you’re doing and how you’re engaging with others? I think very few people are going to find a sense of purpose in just doing their administrative tasks on daily basis. So how do we reframe what we feel is achievable or possible? Certainly, for me, that is a really good starting point for anyone who’s in that limbo of wondering how they get their mojo back.

Chris: So we’re talking here about being better. And what does that take, that striving to be better from your experience? What does it really take for someone to continue improving, both personally and professionally. What does that look like to somebody? Where do they start with this?

Bradley: Well, it’s actually whether you enjoy it or not, in terms of achieving more. It’s a lot easier to be on autopilot. It’s a lot easier to cruise through our day doing things in the way that we’ve always done them and getting the results we’ve always got. It’s harder to really look at something in our lives and say: I want to do this differently, or better, and I need to make some changes to apply consistently over a significant period of time in order to achieve that.

So the analogy I often bring is that some people would just like to go to the gym once and be fit and ripped. But actually, it takes going to the gym for a long time consistently to achieve that. It takes real discipline to achieve what we’re talking about. And that’s why a vast majority of people find it very difficult, because it is difficult, and we have to be resilient, and we have to not give up. We have to live with the frustration of not being where we want to be today, but believe that we can be there tomorrow. And for me, I think that’s one of the key aspects of how I’ve matured.

I now understand it’s about understanding what my goal is in this situation, in terms of being better or more. What do I need to do, and be doing consistently and relentlessly, for a sustained period of time before it becomes an entrenched and embedded natural behavior and way of operating in the world? And that transition is like going from a learner driver who has no idea of what the clutch or accelerator or gear stick do through to understanding what they do but having to really think about them all of the time. And then to a point where we drive and don’t think about how we’re driving, and we can take voice calls on hands free and barely remember how we even got to our destination, because we’re driving on autopilot.

So that transition, I think, is a good example of what am I aware of that I can’t do, or don’t do very well. Let me practice that, even though it’s uncomfortable and hard work, until it becomes something that is second nature to me and my way of operating. That’s a proven science, and why I feel passionately about it. I’d really encourage anyone listening to think about that. But during that process there can be doubt that causes people to give up too early, or not being consistent or relentless enough. And that is one of the secrets I’ve found in anyone who’s successful in any aspect of life – they all have the capability to stay on their chosen path.

We hope that you enjoyed this conversation and remember look out for Episode 3 soon. You can listen to the whole conversation here The Transformative Impact of Personalised Development with Bradley Honnor